hey,

OH MY GOD, THERE'S A BEAR OUTSIDE MY WINDOW! no, not really. that would've been pretty spectacular though, although it would more likely be frightening as hell. i've heard a few stories of homes in anchorage getting busted in to by overly curious black bears...not cool. but back to the subject of me making that up, you've gotta wonder to yourself why i would do that...or maybe you could give a shit. i mean, people do a lot of wierd shit these days with no justification, like invading countries that start with IRA and end with a Q, but i assure you, this is not the case with me. oh no, i had very specific goals when i made that statement. you see, i was having trouble figuring out how to start this little note, and it occured to me, what is a better hook in any bit of literature than some bold and shocking statement? so there you have it, the reason behind it all. isn't it amazing how many words it took me to say absolutely nothing?

so yeah, i'm just lying in bed at exactly 1:30 in the morning, pondering shit and listening to good fucking music. this week's been eventful though. monday was my first day of training with gray line of alaska, a subsidiary of holland america. you see, this summer i'm working on the mckinley explorer, a train that goes from anchorage to talkeetna to denali natl. park to fairbanks and then back down (minus talkeetna on the return). it's a two day deal. i'm a dsa, or dining and sanitary assistant. i wipe handrails and whatnot on the train for noroviruses (icky bugs that occur when people don't wipe their hands after taking a shit) and help the waiting staff bus tables and all that jazz. regarding the noroviruses, i highly reccomend that you use the alcohol wipes they make available on the train and wash your hands whenever you get the chance, because after getting the tour and talking to my employers about all the statistics, it occured to me how truly easy it is for this shit to spread. that, and if you get it, you pretty much throw up and shit chocolate smoothies for the next three days... not fun. anyway, the next day i rode the train with other trainees (interesting how the two tenses of train get so easily mixed up) to talkeetna, took an hour to check out the town, and then rode a motorcoach back down, the whole time getting quality on site training, i met a couple cool people during this time, and i'm hoping we'll hang out this summer...even though it looks like our work schedules have us all on different rotations. there's a shitload of people who went to the same college as me (central washington university) working on the train though, it really shocks me. anyway, yeah. so that was yesterday. now i'm just waiting to shadow an experienced person who has my position on a train, and then i'll be freely able to work. shadowing is basically just following them around for a day and watching them work, learning everything, but just like every other employee, i have to wait until i'm called to work, which means calling a dispatch answering machine every afternoon. i wasn't called to work today (obviously) and i wasn't called to work tomorrow...which bums me out. i want to get working and start making some coin. that, and my job looks fun. i think being on a train with a constantly changing view of absolutely gorgeous nature is gonna be good for me. that, and being away from home. my wandering spirit doesn't do well in this suburban grind with nothing to do (i could at least get away if i had money for gas, another reason to start working). i actually had plans today to hang out with one of my new co-workers, but it looks like they got on rotation, so there went those plans...*sigh* anyway, yeah. so i'm just waiting around. at least now i can dry clean my new shirts before working, get all the wrinkles out and whatnot. oh yeah, i also had to get a really short haircut for work which i'm just getting used to, as well as shaving my beard and moustache. i know i shaved my moustache like a month ago, but it was mainly because i knew i'd have to anyway, and it frankly itched more than the beard. anyway, yeah. it's worth the money though, even if i look two or three years younger (which equates to my real age, lol). anyway, people say it looks good, but it doesn't reflect who i am. i just look...well, regular. i hate regular. i want to be a fucking cockail of abstract wierdness. i know people say "it's just hair, it'll grow back", but to me it's more than that. it represents freedom, and choice, and individuality, and it's also credibility. it represents doing what you want, whether it's cliche or not, whether it's predictable or not, whether anybody approves or not. well, it represented. now it's just occupying space in some hair salon's trash can. whatever though, i've ranted way too long about that.

on the bright side, i should probably be working friday, and if i'm not i'm gonna pull the rest of my frickin' hair out in sheer frustration.

anyway, yeah. i'm gonna try and pass out now, goodnight.

ehren